Controlling and Coercive Behaviour
Controlling and coercive behaviours are a form of domestic abuse.
Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape, and regulating their everyday behaviour.
Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, frighten, isolate or create dependence.
Coercive control explained - video
Economic / Financial Abuse
Exploiting your financial means or controlling your access to money, economic abuse limits your freedom and ability to participate in society.
Economic abuse explained - video
Gaslighting
Manipulating you, your environment and making you doubt yourself allows gaslighters to gain control.
Emotional Abuse
Jealousy, checking up on you all the time and controlling what you wear, who you see and where you go, are all warning signs of emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse explained - video
Tech Abuse
The technology we rely on is increasingly being abused to monitor and control.
Revenge Porn
Revenge porn describes the distribution of intimate or sexual images or film to cause distress.
Revenge porn explained - video
Sexual Abuse
Any non-consensual sexual contact perpetrated by someone you are in a relationship with, or used to be in a relationship with, is sexual abuse.
Sexual abuse explained - video
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is often the most visible form of domestic abuse. It can include hitting, punching or spitting at you.
Physical abuse explained - video
Stalking
Unwanted gifts, turning up in unexpected places, loitering, sending unwanted messages, are all signs of stalking behaviours and should be taken seriously.
Post-separation Abuse
Domestic abuse can continue after a relationship has ended, including stalking or repeated control through the family courts.
Post-separation abuse explained - video
Forced Marriage
Forced marriage is when you are married against your will or where you are bullied or threatened into agreeing to marry. The Government describes it as “a marriage in which one or both spouses do not (or, in the case of some adults with learning or physical disabilities, cannot) consent to the marriage and duress is involved. Duress can include physical, psychological, financial, sexual and emotional pressure”.
Forced marriage is different from an arranged marriage. In an arranged marriage your family takes a lead in introducing your future husband or wife, but you choose whether or not you want to marry them.
If your family is forcing you into a marriage that you don’t want, and are prepared to threaten or hurt you, then this is sometimes called ‘honour’-based violence.
So-called 'Honour'-based Abuse
'Honour'-based violence (HBV) is a form of domestic abuse which is motivated by the abuser’s perception that a person has brought or may bring ‘dishonour’ or ‘shame’ to themselves, their family or the community. It can take many forms, and can be complex to identify, but centres around the idea of controlling individuals to make them behave in certain ways or subscribe to certain beliefs.
For some people, the concept of ‘honour’ is prized above the safety and wellbeing of individuals, and to compromise a family’s ‘honour’ is to bring dishonour and shame – which can have severe consequences. As a result, this can be used to justify many types of abuse, and even disownment or physical harm.
It can take many forms, and includes the following crimes:
- Domestic abuse (including physical, sexual and economic abuse or coercive control) – Various forms of domestic abuse are illegal and are covered under laws aimed at protecting individuals from abuse in all forms, including physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial abuse, among others, as well as coercive control.
- Child marriage – It is illegal in England and Wales to get married under the age of 18.
- Forced marriage – Forced marriage is illegal, and Forced Marriage Protection Orders (FMPOs) can be issued to protect individuals at risk.
- Virginity testing – As of 2022, virginity testing is illegal in the UK under The Health and Care Act 2022.
- Female genital mutilation (FGM) – FGM is a criminal offence under the Female Genital Mutilation Act 2003, which applies to performing FGM within the UK, taking someone abroad to have FGM performed (even if the procedure is legal in that country), and assisting, encouraging or arranging FGM, whether in the UK or abroad.
Perpetrators of honour-based abuse are often partners or ex-partners of the person, or family members. Evidence from Karma Nirvana's helpline suggest that most people experience abuse from multiple perpetrators, including parents and siblings, as well as extended family members. Victims of honour-based abuse are 7 times more likely to be experiencing abuse from multiple perpetrators.
So-called 'Honour'-based violence explained - video
Female genital mutilation explained - video
Survivor Stories
Places to Get Help
The following organisations offer specialist information and support for 'honour'-based violence, forced marriage and female genital mutilation: